Toxic Friendship, Relationships

Courtesy of

Courtesy of

Today’s post is inspired by a conversation that I had with a friend of mine last night, M.T.  It was a needed conversation to confirm what I have been thinking for some time.  The topic of this post is toxic for a reason.  As a person that knows that I am a natural giver, the shirt off my back, the shoes off my feet, friendship that requires nothing in return, giver.  This year I have noticed that some of the people who seem to friend me are takers and they do not give and these people in the end become toxic to the relationship that you have with yourself.  You begin to question if you did something wrong to this person, if you said something to offend them, you begin to wonder if you just aren’t friendly enough.  I have noticed that I have stopped asking these question, I have stopped wondering if I did something wrong and to offend someone, I just live my life, that’s what we are supposed to do.

Writing this post is the easy part.  I have learned that you can not go through this life thinking that toxic relationships are the only relationships that exist.  It is the same principle as those that thrive on friends that are full of drama, they think that all friends are supposed to be like this.  The one thing that I like to point out to others is that, you choose the type of friends that you allow to stay in your life.  You choose to be friends with people who exhibit these behaviors.  I choose not to.  This year, my friendship circle has shrunk considerably because I do not have time for toxic behaviors or drama.  Does it make me feel bad that I have stopped talking to some friends, not at all.  I sleep peacefully at night knowing that I do not engage in drama and I do not cause drama.

I have learned that friends come in all shapes and sizes and they come in all sorts of temperaments and though a person is really nice and really kind to you, if they are more of a headache than a friend or if you are giving more than you are getting out of the relationship, that relationship is toxic.  It will drive you nuts with all the questions about what you have done, when it is the other person that has the issue.  All people deserve friends, don’t get me wrong, but they need to seek out the friends that work for their temperament and for their personality.  As a giving, I have decided that distancing myself from takers is the best thing that I could do right now with so much going on in my life.

In closing, if you find yourself reading this and it describes a friend that you have, know that it is okay to walk away.  If you find yourself reading this and think I’m talking about you, nine times out of ten, I am, it’s nothing personal, this is just about my learning curve with the human race.  But if this post describes you, think about what makes you behave in this manner.


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