Random Thoughts.

Sometimes my blog goes silent.  It’s for two reasons, one, I have nothing to say, but two, I am taking time to reflect on the many lessons that I continue to learn.  So today, I decided that it’s time for my random thoughts.  This is really how my blog started.  Series of random thoughts thrown together.  It was an adventure at first and then it became my voice on issues, and now that I’m trying to manage the most precious commodity that I have, time, it has become increasingly difficult to think about anything more than school and life at home.

Life changes rapidly and you have to run to play catch up.  The one thing that I have been learning this year is that I have been very emotional.  I trying to figure out what it was, it’s that I have accepted that being vulnerable is not a bad thing.  Sometimes, I have found that I have resisted being vulnerable.  I have resisted being able to let go.  But this year I have learned that I have so many blessings and have spent so much time being wrapped up in the drama created by others and ignoring these blessings that my heart hardened and I did not see my blessings.  I could not see my blessings.  So lesson for you guys, being vulnerable sucks, but at the end of the day, it is worth it.

So with so much time spent worrying about what to do, what not to do, how to do it, when to do it, did I offend someone, did someone just offend me, I have discovered that right now, a lot of the times, it’s just easier to let go.  It is easier to do what you feel comfortable with and to be the person that you are based on your needs and the needs of your children, not based on the needs of those around you.  Those people are outside noise.  The most important thing that I have learned came from Dr. Brene Brown “”If you are not in the arena getting your butt kicked with me, I’m not interested in your feed back.”  I think that we as humans are so interested in other people’s feedback that we don’t recognize when it’s not needed and we sure do not recognize when we don’t need to depend on others to validate us.  I think that this is all a part of being vulnerable.  Not seeking validation, not seeking the gold star, just being.  Recently, I have discovered that validation and gold stars do not matter.

So what I’m saying in a nutshell is that sometimes, we need to take a moment to reflect.  We need to take a moment to cry.  We need to take a breather to just be.  It’s in those moments that we understand totally what we need to understand.  Validation not needed.


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