Choices

Today, I have been thinking about choices.  The choice that you make can change the scope of your life.  It can change your life in a millisecond.  Choices- a seven letter word that means so much in one way or another.  This week, I have had many conversations with my daughter about choices.  What a teenager can deem as an innocent choice can alter the trajectory of your life forever.  I remind her often that before I married her father, my choices were clear, after marriage, they became unclear.  It took me a long time to find my path again and since then because I have children, my choices are not often the choices I want to make.  A choice, one choice, can rock your foundation.  It can make you question all of your previous choices.  A seven letter word could change everything.

So this is my message for today.  As we raise our children, tell them importance of choices.  Don’t wait until they have to make a choice or have made a choice that turned out to be bad for them to tell them about the importance or choices and exercising control.  Tell them that you love them and let them know that they need to think about the choices that they make in terms of how they want to live their lives.  How do they want their friends and classmates in school to remember them?  Do they want them to remember them as being funny, smart, or do they want them to remember them based on a bad choice that they may have made?  I know of several girls, now women, that when I think about the high school years, the choices that they made are all I remember about them.  Not their smiles, the way that they dressed, or who their other friends were, their choice or choices and when their name is mentioned, it is tied to one bone headed choice.

Tell your children about your choices and what your choices may have cost or gained you, the good, the bad, and the ugly.  The reality is that as parents, we are not immune to bad choices.  We want to be their super heroes, but we have to be honest and let them know that we are not perfect either.  We do not have to go into detail, but we can tell them that once we made a choice that we should not have made and we had to walk through fire to get out on the other side.  That is the only way that we can show our children how human we are.  I wish that my mother would have told me about more of her choices and how they affected her.

I know that we try hard to keep our super hero capes on for them, but the reality is that we are human, we make mistakes, even as parents and we should let them know that we are not immune and neither are they.  Choices……

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