Come in all shapes and sizes. I have had my share of life lessons in the past two years. I have had life lessons that have blamed me for the bad choices that they have made, I have had life lessons that have driven me crazy because they were lessons that I needed to learn, and I have life lessons that I have learned from my children such as letting it go. It is amazing that children forget the thing that got them in trouble five minutes ago and adults hold on to it instead of moving on. Hum…wonder why that is? I am writing this post because I felt that these are words that I need to share today.
In life lately, I have noticed that some people think that it’s easy to have a scapegoat. I do admit that I make my share of bad choices sometimes, but for the most part, I try to live my life so that my children will be proud. On the other hand, there are people in this world that make boneheaded decisions and want to point the finger for their decision at someone else that may or may not be the victim in their madness. I read on Facebook last night that “Some people create their own storms and get mad when it rains.” It goes back to the question, how many times will bump your head on the door frame before you remember to duck? How many times do you go through the same stress before you admit that your method does not work? How many times are you going to play the victim in your own mellow drama before you realize that you are too old for that crap? These are the questions that I find myself asking people now. Life is too short for childish games. I keep repeating it to myself for the simple fact that I now know myself better than I did last year at this time and the year before.
This is a brief post today just to say those words. Sometimes you have to stop behaving like a teenage girl or boy to be successful in life and it no one else’s fault that you aren’t a success. You have to accept that once you hit 25, excuses run out for the many things that you do. What things am I referencing, cheating, lying, stealing, or just being a plain idiot. Life is far too short. So for those that read this today, pass it on. I am sure going to save this post for my daughter because I feel that these are words that she is going to need to hear one day.
In the Autism family household, Spring Forward is like one of the most horrible times of the year.
It will take a total of two weeks to get my house quiet again and until the next time change to get the kids back in some sort of recognizable rhythm. Where most people greet the time changes with a love hate relationship, i.e. that moment when you gain an hour and lose an hour, I greet it with hatred. Children on the spectrum do not understand why the time has to change let alone do they recognize the importance of time itself if it’s often not on a calendar and is something tangible.
Spring Forward is going to suck badly and I’m just going to have to deal with it right? Right.
Tell me if your child has difficulty with the time change and how you handle it.
Good morning y’all! It has been beautiful here in South Carolina this weekend and week. I will tell you, it’s been hard to focus. Life has been getting in the way. My Monday post will return this coming Monday. It’s going to be a interesting topic so stay tuned.
Forgot to post this yesterday…..Preparing for Monday’s post.
Every now and then, I have people who ask me if there is anything that we want them to know. So I made a list over the past several months and these are my top eight things.
- Stop apologizing.- It is not your fault that our children have special needs and there is no need for you to apologize. There is no need for you to tell me how sorry you are for this that and the other.
- Give us a break.- When you see us in public, it doesn’t mean that we always want to talk. We hear a lot of things and silence is not one of those things. So sometimes, just say hello. It goes a long way if you just acknowledge our presence.
- Sometimes it is great to say “I’m here if you need me.” and mean it.- We just need to hear this from time to time.
- Being a parent with a child with any difference is lonely.- Though we have friends, many of our friends have children that are special needs as well. It is lonely when all you talk about is how your child is progressing, regressing, or what new diet you are trying.
- We don’t have tons of money.- I bet you read that one and say that no one has tons of money. You would be correct, but are you aware that mom’s with children with autism earn 56% less than others according to CBS News. Now add in the Great Recession. So inviting us out sometimes for things that require money, might not happen.
- Asking if you need help makes us feel less alone.- Even if we say that we don’t need help, it’s the thought that counts.
- Saying that “You’re a mother (father), we don’t get a break” is a slap in the face.- Families with children with special needs where they are the sole caregiver is taxing and draining. Every caregiver gets a moment where their children are not with them whether it be date night or what have you. Imagine not being able to afford a sitter, have family support, or not being able to get out for the monthly lunch with the girls? Imagine sleeping one or two hours a night because your child wanders and you are afraid of them getting out of the house. You’re right, parent’s don’t get a break, but caregivers need one once in a while.
- Our time is precious- Time in our households is a precious commodity that we do not waste. If you plan something, make sure that you make it on time. Keep in mind the therapies, the homework, the skin checks, baths, and etc that parents like myself have to work into our day plus work and school, and bathing, and eating. We have limited time during the day for the unexpected let alone, the flakes that plan and don’t follow through.
To some this may seem trivial. Yes, we have struggles in every family, but look at your family breakdown and imagine that one of your children was dyslexic, has an autism diagnosis, or just has trouble with comprehension. It adds more to the weight of what you feel. These are my top eight things! Do you have one that’s not on the list?
The combination of Autism and a snow day is like a combination of the plague and tuberculosis wrapped up in a little strep throat. It is a draining experience to not only find things to entertain the children, but to tell them the importance of not trying to lick the snow through the window. ”Sweetheart, it doesn’t work that way. You can’t catch the snow with your tongue by licking the window.” Is not a sentence that I thought I would ever utter by the way. Days like the past three days, I am the prey and my children are the wild animals that can not get out and move the way that they wish to.
Snow days for children like mine throw everything out of whack. So this is going to be a short post today because my children are insisting that we get outside. For those that know what it is like to parent children that need the consistency of their school schedules and even when school is out for the summer, it takes them months to regulate and get used to a new schedule before their school schedule begins again and they have to adjust, you know that the important part of snow days is to make it fun with some activities, scale back when they need a break, and take them outside to feel the coldness of the air and the snow in their hands. Hoping that you all are staying warm and safe! Now enjoy a photo of my little ones as the snow began.